Because every moment can have some education in it....right?

Paige and Daddy are playing Legos. Mommy is sitting and watching.
Paige: "How does Santa make all the toys so smooth and colorful? Is it the elves?"
Mom: "Yeah, the elves do all the work."
Paige:"That's NOT FAIR!"
Mom: "Nope.  It's called a Monarchy.  Santa says what to do and everyone does it."
Paige looks astounded.
Daddy: "Actually Paige, it's a Dictatorship."
Paige: "A dictatorship?"
Mom: "He's right honey. It's a dictatorship."
Daddy: "Yeah, we live in a monarchy in our home.  Your mom is the queen and we do everything she says."
Mommy: "MIKE!"

Book Hoarder

Mama has asked Paige to bring all of the books out of her bedroom and into the library.  Paige does.  Mama notices the stack is quite large.  She decides to count the books.

48.

Paige has been looking at 48 books in her room during quiet time.  Nice.

Why my children don't bath together

Mama is sitting in the bathroom so Beckett doesn't escape from the bath and run around wet and naked. Paige walks by.
Paige: "Mama, did you know that if you dunk Beckett under the water he doesn't do anything?"
Mama pauses for a moment and then delivers a very not happy, stern lecture on 'dunking' and why we don't do it.
Paige: "I meant to say that it was just not an idea, but just some words that came out."

Nice backpedaling kid.

Listening Skills Need Improving

Paige: "Are you starving?"
Beckett: "Nah."
Paige: "Are You Starving?"
Beckett: "Nah."
Paige:" ARE YOU STARVING?"
Beckett: "NO!"
Paige: "Okay!  Then, here is some food!"

How Paige's Dreams Come True

Paige runs into where I am and says: "Mama!  Want to know how something magic happened?"
Mama, very surprised answers: "Yes!"
Paige: "Well, the gross food where Beckett spit it out isn't there anymore!"
Mama: "What food?  Where did this magic happen?"
Paige: "Your gross sandwich (sprout sandwich from 7 hours earlier) by the Christmas tree!"
Mama goes to investigate.  Sure enough, there is only some crumbs left.
Paige: "See, and that is how magic happens.  And now I know my dreams will come true. Not the gross dreams, just the good dreams!"

Never Said Better

We are driving home from a wonderful trip to Bend last night when we get stopped on I-5 because of a wreck ahead.  Paige stops drawing and looks up and says: "This looks like the middle of not good!"

New Playlist Needed

We are eating breakfast and Paige asks for some Christmas music.
I put some on.
We are eating our oatmeal and Paige stops and looks at me and says: "I like WILD Christmas music.  This isn't very wild music mom."

I just sat there and then replied: "It is what it is dear."
And you know what?  She didn't have a reply for that one!  AH HA!!

Brought to you by the letter:

Mama and Paige are writing letters.
Mama: "I like the letter U because it is kind of like a bucket. Or maybe an upside down umbrella with no handle."
Paige: "I like the letter U because it is kind of like a door handle on a car that is upside down with no car attached to it."

Christmas Wish

Paige: "So Mom, what do you want for Christmas?"
Mama: "I like books.  What do you want for Christmas?"
Paige: "I want My Little Ponies, new fuzzy jammers (pajamas), books, more My Little Ponies, Christmas candy, a dog, a cat, a t.v., some diamonds, chap stick, and some more My Little Ponies."
Mama, in a very tired and surprised voice: "Oh. Glad I asked."

Yet another question.....

Paige: "Why is Jesus white?"

Mom just sits there for a moment and then briefly explains about the history of photography and artistic interpretation.

Paige looks confused.

Mom: "Do you mean why is he wearing so much white?"

Paige (with big smile): "Yeah!!! Is he wearing too much white?"

Mom (feeling dorky at not noticing a fashion question from the beginning):" No honey, some people just look good in a lot of white."

Feelings

Paige:  "I love Beckett so much!  I love him much more than I ever thought I would!  He is wonderful and makes me so happy!"

Then there was a pause.

Paige:"Only when he is outside."

I didn't know how to respond to that so I said: "That's nice, Dear."

Stories

Paige has begun to tell stories to Beckett.  She came up to me and happily stated that she had just told Beckett the story of the mean witch who cut off arms and the dragon who ate them, a little girl walking through the forest and she met a dragon who fired her and ate her.  She finished with a happy 'The End!'.  I sure hope he doesn't have nightmares tonight.

Uncle and/or Prophet Abraham

Paige is sitting in church during Sunday services.  She is looking at a picture and asks me what is happening.
Mama: "It is of Abraham kneeling down, see, his shoes are off, and he is listening to the voice that is coming out of the bush that is burning over here."
Paige, pauses, amazed, and then asks: "Is this the Abraham that comes to OUR house?"

Yeah - It's ALL chicken!

Paige (during prayer for dinner): "And thank you for the noodles and apples and chicken."
A short time later I ask her how she likes her chicken.
Paige: "It's YUMMY!!!  I love it!!  I always love chicken!"

Good, I think, because I didn't feed you chicken to night.  I fed you mild Italian sausage.  Someday, I hope you will forgive us for calling all meat 'chicken', but if we do, you eat it.  I hope that your taste buds know the difference someday too.

I'm confused too!

Paige to Beckett: "Market Twelve!!!!!"
Beckett to Paige: weird look of confusion.

Me too.

I wasn't born in China dear.

Paige: "When you were a little girl in China did you see a talking China Monkey Mama?"
Mama: just sits there, sighs, and says: "No, I wasn't a little girl in China."
Paige: "Well, I'm a China Monkey and this is my little China Monkey brother who is wiggly."

New verb

Paige: "I don't wanna play in the bath water.  I'm just decorationing myself today."

Queen of dramatic response

Paige: "Who messed up this toilet paper?"
Mama: "I'll give you one guess....."
Paige:  "Who would DO such a thing?  WHO?"

Perils of the internet......

Paige comes in during my shower to say that she is done watching the horse show on the computer.  I say okay.  When I come out to the computer later, the show she is watching (thank you YouTube) is "How to fold a Tshirt in 2 seconds".  Then I hit the previous page button to see what she was watching before that.  Here is what she watched this morning INSTEAD of watching the How to Groom your horse clip:
How to fold a t-shirt in 2 seconds
Magic card tricks
Top 5 Laziest inventions
The World's best Banana Trick
How to ride a Horse

Thank heavens it wasn't worse.  Time to filter YouTube!

Never said better

Paige is climbing up the play structure.
Paige: "I'll be careful because I am important to Dad.  (pause). Why am I important to Dad?
Mama: "You are important because you make our hearts happy.  Why do you make our hearts happy?"
Paige: "Because I am loving you!"

Progress. I think it is progress....

Today Beckett has already figured out how to take his pants off. Twice.  Thankfully, he leaves his diaper on.


And how to throw things away in the trash can.  I have found his toy, bottle, and socks.  So now it is just an empty bucket.  And the trash can will be relocated.


Progress, I tell myself.  It's all progress.

Burger King beats Garden of Eden anytime.

We are waiting in the car (Paige, Beckett, and I) while Daddy runs an errand into a local store.  So I have been asking Paige some questions to keep her busy and I say: "Paige, what is your favorite restraunt?"

"Adam and Eve's restaurant." She replies. 

I sit there.  Thinking.  I don't know what she is talking about - so I decide, what the firetruck, I'll ask some more about this restaurant.

"What kind of food do they have at Adam and Eve's?" I ask.

"Super gross and disgusting food.  I hate going there."

I am even more confused.  I don't know what she is talking about.  We haven't talked about Adam and Eve for maybe a month now - but as a restaurant?  And now hates it? 

"So, if this restaurant isn't your favorite, what is?" I ask.
"Oh yeah, the hamburger store when we go to Oma's house and we get the toy." was her response.

To this day, I still have no idea what she was talking about.

I don't think Handel ever expected this...

From Paige's room I hear THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP and then she starts scream/singing this: "ALL-LE-YOU-YAH!  ALL-LE-YOU-YAH!" over and over and over and over and over and over....

I go into investigate and find her jumping on her bed singing her version of the Hallelujah chorus.  I smiled.

Of course it does, Dear

I walk into Paige's room.  She is biting Beckett's finger but he isn't upset or yelling.
Paige: "Look Mama!  I'm biting his finger so softly!"
Mama: "Yes, like biting a cob of corn.  Just do it gently."
Paige: "Yeah, when I bite him hard it really hurts him."

Perhaps.

Mama: "And now I've got to go and get the little tv and put it downstairs."
Paige: "Perhaps you might need help with that."

Uh huh.  Perhaps I might.

Symantics.

Mama: "And in just a minute I'm going to go and take that stuff (pointing to a pile of stuff) and put it downstairs." Paige: "I believe you mean you are going to pick up those things and gently (with arm gestures) take them downstairs and gently (again, more arm gestures) put them down."

Yeah.  That's what I meant.

Rhyming.

She is really into rhyming these days. Tonight I was coming her hair and she tooted.  "Okay Miss Tootie Patootie, go and get your jammers on" I said to her.  "Mom, you mean Miss Tootie Balootie!!!" was her happy response.

Response

I had just driven back to Redding from Bend.  It had taken 6 hours.  With 2 kids under 4, it is to be expected.  Mike and I are lying on the living room floor.  Paige is playing with her treasures.  Beckett is playing.  Then Paige comes over to us and snuggles in for some lovin'.  Beckett sees an opportunity and heads for the treasures.  A moment later Paige realizes what is happening and jumps up and runs over to try and take her toys back.  She gets to where he is and looks at him and yells: "ANNA PAIGE BLA..."    Then she stops - looks at us, and all three of us bust up laughing.

Pee

Mama: "Beckett....are you peeing?"
Beckett continues so sit cross-legged.
Then he smiles.
Then he giggles.

I'm going to take that as a yes.

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

Paige is singing the song Head Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.  She sings that line over and over and over again.  I finally look over at her to find her with a GI Joe warrior guy as she makes HIM do Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

Hat

We are putting Beckett's summer clothes out.
Paige: "Beckett, try this hat on!"
Beckett doesn't like to "try" on a hat.
Paige: "Beckett, Just Try It On!" 
Beckett does not do as she asks.
Paige: "JUST TRY IT ON BECKETT!"
Beckett again, does not do as she asks.
Paige: "IT'S JUST A HAT BECKETT, JUST A HAT!!!"

Pretending

Mama: "Paige, you need to leave the door to your room open."
Paige: " It is just pretending to be open!!!!"

Sugar is still sugar....

Paige: "Mom, can I have some candy?"

It is 7:45 am.
Mom: "No Paige, it is too early for candy.  You can have some Birthday cake though."

Good one Mom.  Like there is a difference between the amount she would be receiving.....

Dog tricks

Paige to Beckett (while throwing a ball...): "Fetch baby, feeeettttccchhhh baaabbbbyyyy."
Beckett then runs after the ball.

Great.  Really great.

Not exactly what we had planned

Paige: "Mama, Beckett is the BEST pet ever!"

Don't stare at lightbulbs please.

Paige: "When I turn my eyes off, little lights turn on!"

Not big enough for the both of you

Paige (in an extremely whiny voice): "Mom,  Beckett won't share the outside with me!"

Germs

Paige is washing a dish in the sink. 
We are discussing germs and bacteria.
Mama: "So cleaning the slimy stuff off makes the bacteria go away, and it is healthy again for us to use."
Paige: "So then the gooteria is back!  What a great idea!"


It took a minute - but I figured it out:  Ba-cteria (bad bacteria) and Goo-cteria (good bacteria).

Wha wha wha wa wa

Mama and Paige are having a very serious conversation.  At the end of the conversation she looks up at me, smiles, and says in a sweet voice: "Mama, your hair looks like a jungle!"

Dog Treats

Daddy, Beckett, and Paige are at the Dr.'s office. 
(Everything is okay - just Beckett's 1 year check-up).
Paige: "Can I have a lollipop?"
Daddy: "Yes, but you have to act like a girl.  They don't give lollipops to dogs."
Paige (in a whisper): "Okay Daddy, but don't tell them I'm a dog, okay?"

Turnanite

Daddy: "Paigey, come here and sword fight with me!"
Paige: "I can't!  I'm a Turnanite!"
Mom and Dad look at each other - very confused.
Daddy: "What is a Turnanite?"
Paige: "Turnanites steal things.  They don't sword fight.  They wear shiny helmets like pan helmets, pick fruit from trees, and eat cream."

Breakfast Prayer

Paige is seated and starts to pray over her breakfast.

"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless me to be Rapunzel, bless Grammy to be the wicked step mother, bless Daddy to be the closet, bless Beckett to be the prince, bless Mommy to be, um, there too. Amen."

I think we need to revisit the purpose of breakfast prayer.

Balloon

It has been super windy here.  I had gotten Paige a helium balloon.  She was playing with it inside and decided to take it outside.  It promptly blew 40 feet up in the air and then away.  Paige was devastated.  That night Paige says the prayer over the dinner and includes this:
"Dear Heavenly Father,  please have the gnomes find my balloon and bring it back and tie it to a tree for me."

Fancy Thinker

Mama and Paige are making Valentines together.
Mama: "And Oma's favorite color is blue."
Paige: "And pink too!"
Mama: "And pink too."
Paige: "Why is her favorite colors blue and pink?"
Mama: "I don't know why her favorite colors..."
Paige interrupts: "It's because she does fancy thinkin'!!!"

Maybe we need to work on our verbs a little bit...

Mama: "How did you sleep last night?"
Paige:  "Good but I was cold.  The cold air was coming in my room and it was colding to me."

Proper clothing required

Paige: "Is Beckett trafficking?"
Mama sits there looking shocked.
Mama:  "No, he is not."
Paige:  "Am I trafficking?"
Mama: "No, you are not."
Paige: "What is trafficking?"
Mama: "Um, moving things that are not yours to another place and selling them to other people."
Paige: "Why am I not trafficking?  Is it because I don't have a trafficking shirt?"

Austraeeeelia

I am sitting in a chair.  Paige comes up, sits on my lap and looks out the window.  "See Mama?  That big mountain?"  "Yes," I say as she points to Mount Shasta in the morning light.  "Oh look Mama!  It is Australiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaah." 

Earth

Song from this  morning:
Paige: "Going to the center of the EARTH!  Going to the center of the EARTH!!!"
"What will be there?  Going to the center of the Earth."

???

Gnomes

Paige is currently on a Gnome kick.  She likes the fact that they live outside, but she really wants them to live inside with us.
Mama:  "Well, I'm not sure they want to because they are pretty scared of us big humans."
Paige: "They don't need to worry.  I can even help them use the potty!"


Whew.  That was my FIRST concern about letting Gnomes inside!

Scriptures

Uncle Abraham, Auntie Devon, Mama, and Paige are all downstairs going through some old boxes.  We have unwrapped an old Bible and it is sitting on the bed.  Paige comes over and looks at it and then says: "Are these scriptures from the Lamanites?"