I want you on my team!

We got Paige a butterfly net.  The handle is WAY too long and she keeps whacking people (her mother and brother) with it. 
So I am cutting the handle down 2 feet (yes, there was 3 feet left!) and I hear these encouraging words:
Paige: "You can do it Mama!"
"Keep trying!"
"Careful not to cut yourself!"
"This is so much fun - huh?!?"

She always makes me smile.

We are not that ugly...

Paige is looking at a picture of Mike and I.  In the picture there is nothing but the two of us and the background is far away so you cannot see anything.
Paige, pointing to the picture: "Is that a bicycle?" Looks up, confused.
Me: "NO, it's your Mom and Dad!"
Paige, sounding disapointed: "oh."

?Wha?

Work induced illness

It is a few minutes until bath and bed time.
Routine states that it is time to start picking up toys.
Mama: "Paige, please pick up the costumes and put them in the costume box."
Paige: "I think that my tummy is going to start hurting when I pick these dresses up."

Thank goodness she has 15 more years to think up better excuses than that one!

Yeah, because later would be better...

Mama is getting ready.
Beckett is playing on the floor.
Mama to Paige: "Please don't roll your brother up in the rug right now."

You need new friends kid

It is 95 degrees in the shade at our house.
The air conditioner is broken.
The air conditioner fix it man is here.
Paige opens the door to let him into the house.
Paige: "Oh yeah.  I opened the door because he is my best friend."

When the cat's away the mouse will, well, jump on the bed

I am taking a shower.  The bathroom door is open.  Beckett is lying playing with toys in the doorway.  All of a sudden I hear a bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. And then this:
Paige, screaming at the very top of her lungs, while jumping on my bed: "FIVE LITTLE MONKEYS JUMPIN' ON DA BED.  ONE FELL OFF AND BUMPED HER HEAD.  MAMA CALLED THE DOCTOR AND THE DOCTOR SAID: NO MORE MONKEY JUMPIN' ON DA BED!!!!!!!!!"